Dave, who has a good sense of humor, wanted to give me an idea of what he was looking for in a retirement home.  Here are his requirements, and he’d like to keep it under $800,000:


I realIy don ‘t want to stay in Arkansas forever, yet the alternatives seem all to have drawbacks.

  1. Florida is out because of humidity and overcrowding and crazy people.
  2. I grew up in California but it is full of too many people now.
  3. Still some very beautiful unspoiled places in California but too expensive.
  4. I visited Colorado in January. It did not appeal to me much but the scenery is spectacular.
  5. New Mexico was shabby looking, full of poverty.
  6. The whole Midwest area and the upper-south is full of crap and clod hoppers.
  7. There is the Mississippi coast but it is in the shop for repairs right now after Katrina.
  8. The U.P. of Michigan is full of tourists and tourist leeches in the summer and way too cold in the winter.
  9. The East Coast? Fugetaboutit.

Here are my simple requirements:

  1. Cool and breezy in the summer. Full sun but I warn you, I don’t want to break a sweat.
  2. Warm, sunny winters but cool enough for a sweater daily.
  3. Spectacular autumns and springs with endless days of vegetative growth, wild animals and butterflies. The morning doves softly cooing in the trees.
  4. High up in the mountains with awe inspiring views.
  5. Near the seashore with excellent surf casting, mornings and evenings.
  6. Soft, talc like sand that doesn’t get into your clothes, shoes or car.
  7. Oh, and great cathedral-like sunsets.
  8. Low cost of living but I don’t want to live near any poor people.
  9. Unspoiled and teeming wildlife.
  10.  No tourists.
  11.  Peace, tranquility, no crime. For God’s sake, no crime.
  12.  Very few neighbors, yet plenty of friendly people with similar outlooks and taste as mine.
  13.  No traffic tie-ups but quick access to world-class shopping, live theater, constant entertainment with low ticket prices and high availability of seats.
  14.  Absolutely no noise but yet a feeling of being in a cosmopolitan area. (Like being dressed in expensive clothing, having a bank account full of money and sitting, feeding the pigeons in Central Park. That kind of feeling.)

 Have I left anything out?

How do you like my chances of selling him a house around San Diego?  I have the cooing doves in the morning, but I don’t see many butterflies! 

Pin It on Pinterest